Today, I woke up at 8:05am and while rubbing out the crusty mucus deposits around my eyes a clear thirty minutes after I was supposed to already be at work hitting the keyboard, I was overcome with a feeling of helplessness. I got dressed without taking a shower and made my way to the fish tank still half asleep to feed those little creatures who are so dependent on me for their very survival. As I sprinkled the fish food flakes into the tank of water, a veritable glass prison, I tried to imagine what those little fish might be thinking.

Cleo, you, a Gold Gurami with beautiful orange and neon blue color, oh I had such plans for you, I was going to get a guy-fish for you…maybe we could have gotten you a plaster cast castle in a respectable corner of the tank, next to the hard working sucker fish that keep the glass clean, the schools are really good in that part of tank-town, or so they tell me. You and your guy-fish could have had your 2.5 or 20 fish fry and eked out a beautiful life in that warm corner of the English Basement. Could have, would have, should have…that is until I found out yesterday that beautiful Cleo IS actually a guy-fish…that nerdy fish specialist at the local Pets-Mart sure knew how to quash my designs for fish utopia. So, today, Cleo has been renamed Leo, because as the “deciderer” of all things fishy, I said so - that’s why. Their fate is in my hands, if I forget to feed them for a couple of days, they will die - and I’m a known fish killer, having dispatched my twins’ fish a couple of months ago - I am to be feared. Their purpose in life is to entertain me, how sad. Then, I thought to myself, wait, I am not in control of my own life…my life, and my busy schedule controls me, and that is sad.

So, as I watched the two red tipped Tetra’s rudely brush by Cleo, I mean Leo, and pounce on the food in a shark-like manner, I made a determination to do my part to attain that Uber Man status that Friedrich Nietzsche prophesized about over a hundred years ago. We control our own fate, of this I’m certain. Sure, genetics and environment have something to do with one’s ultimate success in life, but once those cards are dealt it is up to us to make the most of what we’ve been given. Through self discovery and self awareness it is up to us to identify our weaknesses and our strengths in our genetic makeup and to build a life within our pre-determined environment that takes those factors into consideration. So, I just need to get off my lazy ass and do something about it. I won’t wait for someone or something to “save” me, instead like those red tipped Tetra’s I will fight for every scrap I can find on the floor, any clue that helps me attain greater self awareness, greater discipline to achieve the goals I have set aside for myself.

So, if I am to become that Uber Man, or Mini-Uber Man, I will need to lay out all the areas of my life that require improvement. Let’s see, maybe I’ll focus on these categories and break them down into more manageable themes: Day Job, Parenting, Self-Improvement and Business…that should cover it. Day Job: I will motivate and actually get some work done before Friday comes around otherwise, that project due at the end of November will bite me in the ass. Parenting: I will try to participate in the lives of my kids more often. Maybe, I will try to volunteer during the school day once and a while - need to look into that. I will work on more educational projects with them - similar to the Paper Mache Volcano. I will take them on day trips to get them to spend quality time with me and my parents and find a way to set aside all the road blocks and excuses that my Ex has put into place to prevent me from doing so. Self-Improvement: I will do some sort of self-improvement activity throughout the week to keep my mind and body balanced. Business: I will work on getting my online business back on track and take the necessary steps to create new online businesses…after all, these online businesses are my ticket out of this 40 Hour Labor Camp.

By the time I made it into work at 8:30am, I did not feel very guilty about my tardiness however, maybe because I knew that the Warden was out attending some meeting in another state and wouldn’t return until after lunch. Okay, I will implement these steps to improve my life, starting on Friday…Wait, I’m taking a day off on Friday - I’ll label that part of my “Self-Improvement”…Okay, starting this next Monday the Mini-Uber Man shall rise from the ashes.