The format of the meeting seemed like a good idea…in an attempt to broker our divorce terms with minimal tension and animosity between us, my Ex agreed to attend the meeting via a remote desktop and speaker phone connection under the premise that her busy schedule did not allow for her physical presence at the meeting. However, the mediation attorney did not extend this courtesy to me and so, I made the appropriate arrangements to physically attend the meeting (I requested to leave early from work and drove 40 minutes to the mediation attorney’s office) and arrived on time, eager to resolve any pending financial, visitation and debt issues between us.
And so the meeting began, rather innocently. I joined the mediation attorney at his round oak table and nervously sipped the complimentary glass of water infront of me as he dialed up my Ex’s phone and began to set up his word processor for the meeting notes. “This should work nicely”, I thought as I summarized my talking points in my mind. “We can resolve all our issues and still remain friends on some level”. However, the cackle of her voice at our mediation attorney’s ear followed by the words “Well, I’ve never been insulted like this in my life” uttered from his cracking voice quickly quashed the “idealistic” notion of divorce that had consumed my mind all morning. As the phone conversation became more heated, I seemed to have an out of body experience watching as our mediation attorney got bitched out by my Ex…overhearing the words…”insulted”, “disrespectful”, “deceitful”, “dishonorable”…I was thankful that none were directed at me.
After about ten more minutes of witnessing this uncomfortable phone conversation between, our mediation attorney and my Ex, he hanged up the phone and said: “I can see why you are getting divorced.” With those eight words, I realized two things. One, that I was $450 closer to becoming part of the two-percenters who have their divorces settled by a judge instead of out of court, a statistic that our mediation attorney had incredulously stated would not apply to our case only a couple of months earlier. And two, that “our” mediation attorney was no longer impartial.
